Holy Hour Woes
My Holy Hours this summer read pretty much like the beginning of “A Tale of Two Cities”….It was the best of times. It was the worst of times…
With the kids home for the summer and not going to the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd on Wednesdays, they have been joining me for my Holy Hour at that time. I’m the only person who has signed up for this hour and that means that I have no backup to call upon if I just have a feeling that it’s not going to be a good day. On the flip side, when we are the only ones there, we don’t bother anyone else and I can softly talk to them about Jesus and I can teach them how to pray. The Adoration coordinator was kind enough to even make me a sign that explains that our hour is an hour to bring young children to visit Jesus and asks for the extra patience of other adorers while we are teaching the children to adore our Blessed Lord.
But inevitably my Holy Hours this summer have been less than holy. I found myself in tears a few weeks ago when we were just not having a good prayer hour. The straw that broke my back that day was when Fulton started climbing one of the kneelers in front of Jesus. Some days I come home asking, “Why do I put myself through this?” The other people there probably think I’m down right crazy to be taking the kids to Adoration. And I’m sure they could do without the extra distraction.
Before having children I used to be a big mass and adoration snob… now I feel like one of those people I used to criticize in my mind. This is probably why those opportunities to practice patience with the children during mass and adoration are met with huge failure. Sometimes I feel my efforts are futile… Unfortunately, it takes some serious threats of time out and things we can’t do later to get them to behave. Or, like today, it took taking them out and administering serious discipline before we could go back in and have some quiet time.When I mention to other moms that I take the kids, they wonder how I do it. Honestly, it’s still a work in progress. And by no means are we perfect.
This is not to say that they couldn’t do well and we haven’t had great days. Therese is so beautiful…if she can focus and not tell-on or complain about Fulton. She’ll get a cushion and kneel in front of the monstrance and pray. Today she prayed 3 decades of the rosary with me–in Latin–and a very kind woman told her she would become a nun and could marry Jesus the way that she loves Him. Muffin can be okay too if you can get past the songs she sings to Jesus–ones she makes up and others like the ABC song. If she’s engaged in good book and not being a ham, she’s pretty quiet. But Fulton stretches me and my patience to no end. He’s good if he’s on my lap. Unfortunately there’s not enough room on my lap for baby G, Fulton AND Gianna (the jealous baby sister). I know some people think I expect too much…Even Adam has said that. But I’m their mom. Aren’t I supposed to expect the ideal from them instead of mediocrity–especially in the way they treat and talk to Jesus?
I found this lovely prayer book in out stacks that is specifically for Family Holy Hours. And so far everytime I’ve taken it to share with the kids, there are too many people visiting Jesus to talk to them about it. If nothing else, I’ve enjoyed reading it and look forward to sharing those prayers with the kids…someday.
Hang in there, Sharon. I remember bursting into tears after a weekday Mass that was held in the rectory basement. The kids were so onery and I was so embarrassed at their behavior and there was absolutely no where to take them as the room was so small. When I apologized to Fr. Zimmer afterwards, he just smiled and said, “What problem?” And don’t feel like a loser if some days you just don’t feel like you can handle all that and get a sitter and go to the Holy Hour by yourself. We all need some quality time with Jesus. And you can count on the fact that you are earning extra credit for trying to teach your kids about Adoration. God will infuse into you what you are missing at those Holy Hours by being distracted. I know it must seem like Fulton’s not getting anything out of this, but just like sitting in the sun gives you a suntan, being in front of the Eucharist will give him a ‘Son tan’ and something will touch his soul. I know a guy that was impossibly onery as a child and he grew up to become a great priest.
Love,
Mom, MI
Sharon, don’t be to upset the little one’s aren’t getting anything out of adoration. I can promise you they will remember the time spent in the presence of Our Lord. Blessed Mother won’t let them forget especially little Fulton. As for our little one’s in church, mom and I could write a book. As long as our Mary had fruit loops in her plastic bag she was quiet. As for her brothers and sisters, one time being taken outside by dad was enough or may-be I should say 3+ times. I believe one time when I was taking one of the boys out, he yelled “Pray for me”. All in all though they were good kids and dad and mom loves them all along with the crosses.